Day 1.5 of 9.5 consecutive work days.
I’m already tired.
Let’s get this over with.
I was sifting through the archives to my Tumblr, when it hit me; I started this blog with a distinct goal. I was going to pinpoint a bit of happiness, a highlight in each & everyone of my days. The whole idea was to remind myself, & all of my followers that shit happens, but happiness is there through it all.
Considering how down I’ve been lately, & how frustrating scheduling my shifts at work can be (They had me rush in today at noon, just to work ‘till four, on bullshit.) Not to mention being without Robbie, while we both struggle through our own family drama, and trauma, I think it’d be really good for me to bring my idea back to life.
Each day is a good one, in some way, It’s high-time I remember that! Today, I got to work. It was only for four hours, and it was very disorganized, but I got to see all my co-workers again, & surprise them all by showing up at noon, every single one of them were happy to see me. The new boss who took over about two weeks ago, came & personally thanked me for coming in with such short notice (They called me at 11:15, to ask me to arrive at work at 12.) which brought a smile to my face.
& Now, after being laid off, & struggling to get my place on the weekend shifts, I have nine days of solid work ahead of me. That’s a lot of money about to roll in, & I’m going to be tired, and sore, and I’m going to hate my job by the end of it, but I’m delighted to finally have work. I’m overjoyed that, for a moment, I can stop worrying about my fiances.
So, today, I felt a weight lift from my chest.
I believe there is so much more out there.
Who’s honestly going to crush those hopes?
I only just heard of a relative of mine who is dying.
Who has been dying of cancer for a year now.
It’s easy to tell, by the speed of my knowledge that I’m not very close to this man.
But I do know him, and probably will go to the funeral.
He’s not supposed to make it the rest of this week…
…I can’t help but wonder how many other poor souls are watching death close in.
(via livinginrainbows)
I finally have a solid week of work.
In fact, I have minimum 9 consecutive days of work.
That’s at least 72 hours of cash-making.
Not to mention 24 of which being overtime.
That, coupled with my new raise, will do wonders for my bank account.
Especially since soon I’ll be able to work full-weeks, while my co-workers take their summer vacations. So my 9 consecutive days may very well turn into 2, maybe 3 full weeks of work, seven days a week.
Ah, some happiness at last.
I’m not even going to dwell on the fact that the more I work the less I see Robbie, or that I have to work night-shift.
Because happiness. The end.
So I wake up this morning, after sleeping for a little more than two hours,
To a pounding on the front door. I didn’t realize it then, but I’m home alone.
More pounding, I get up to check it out. A strange women is hurrying back to her car, & driving away before I can get to the door. The phone rings, I answer it & while scheduling an appointment for my mom, I watch in fixation as a car reverses down my street, and slows in front of my place- but doesn’t stop, & continues in reverse. I hang up the phone, & walk outside in time to see that same car driving forward now, back up my street- again, slowing as they reach my driveway, but never stopping.
I’m exhausted, & freaked out now. I can’t sleep anymore (It’s too effing bright) & my brother took the stupid dog with him, today. Meaning if those people were casing my house for a robbery, I won’t even have the yappy idiot dog my parents adopted to help. My concerns about the robbery are not unfounded, either, since my parents have been victims of Attempt of robbery twice, & stolen blind once. Dunham’s not a completely wholesome place.
I should have some breakfast.
4:35
I am in such a pitiful state right now. I need a lot of sleep. A hug. A ride to Lennoxville. Fall. Snow. School. Homework. Work. Time. Answers. Questions. Motivation. Inspiration.
I need a chance, I need more life in my life.
I need something!
But maybe I should start with some sleep.
I’m not even tired anymore.
Just disappointed.
